Top 10 Tuesday: Fast Food Joints

Food. Ahh...I can smell it now. Not just any food, fast food. Of course, like most things, fast food causes cancer, ringworm, and probably chlamidia, but oh how I enjoy it. Come on, whoever doesn't enjoy a convenient fast food joint every once in a while is a lying sack of potatoes in the middle of Idaho. So, in honor of America's wonderous places of grub, I hereby announce, to you, my top 10 favorite fast food rastaurants:

10. Burger King
Famed for it's charbroiled burgers, Burger King barely makes it into the top 10. The only real reason they made it on the list is because of their french fries. There is just something about the fries at "The BK Lounge" that makes my taste buds orgasm. They have the best french fries among all of the "Big" corporations, so therefore they start out the list at #10.

9. Arby's
Arby's is mostly famous for their delicious roast beef sandwiches. On the contrary, I happen to hate roast beef. However, I do have a passionate love for their crispy chicken sandwiches and curly fries. And, oddly enough, I love the way they wrap their sandwiches. How on Earth do they do it? Part tin-foil, part paper? WTF? Whatever it is, It's good enough to be #9 on this prestigious list.


8. Taco John's
Taco John's may have invented the way to make the most use of a potato. The Potato Olé. My dear God, if these don't complete a West-Mex meal then I don't know what does. Not only did Taco John's make the potato olé, but they also ingeniously decided to place it in a burrito with the company of crispy chicken: the Meat and Potato Burrito. Now that's a whole lot of Mexican, amigo.

7. Chipotle
I never used to believe that a burrito could actually resemble a large brick, until I walked into the kingdom of Chipotle. Their burritos are friggin amazing and are the best thing that happened to mexican food since the chaco taco. Burrito me.

6. McDonald's
When a person walks into McDonald's thinking "By golly, if I eat this food, I'm going to be a fat ass and have four heart attacks by the time I leave this place," they are automatically going to hate the food. I, on the other hand, like to think of eating McDonald's as an excuse to work out more. And, of course, I throughly enjoy indulging in the super cheap super greasy super good food. Good for your body? Hardly. Good for your soul? Probably not. But, I'm lovin' it.

5. Erbert and Gerbert's
Erbert said to Gerbert said Erbert to Gerbert, "Damn, these subs are good." Good they are. Erbert and Gerbert's brings a unique style to the submarine sandwich. They literally disect the sandwich by taking the "Guts" out. The Guts are the bread in the inner uppper half of the sandwich. By taking the Guts out of the sandwich, it makes room for lettuce and other extras. Did I mention they give you the Guts back? Well, they do. And they are quite good to dip in their various daily soups. Erbert and Gerberts is wonderful.

4. Taco Bell
Despite having horrible nachos, Taco Bell is probably the best Mexican food in the fast food industry. Quite frankly, I need to say no more than 'Cheesy Gordita Crunch'. Point sold.


3.Quiznos
Toasted subs are goooooood. Especially Quiznos. When you eat a sub at Quizno's, you get more meat for your dollar than at Subway. Words do not do justice for this sandwich haven. Try it.

2.Wendy's
I can't really explain this one. Wendy's is a phenomenon. It's greasy fast food, but for some reason it's absolutely delicious. And of course, the Frosty. If the Frosty isn't the most delicious dairy product in the land, then I don't know what is.



1.Jimmy John's
In first place comes Jimmy John's. Jimmy John's is very much like Erbert and Gerbert's...only 5 times better. Their ingredients and sandwiches are almost identical. One thing that Jimmy John's does is NOT CUT THE SANDWICH IN HALF! I love this. It makes the sandwich taste better for some reason and I feel that I get more of the sandwich and can become more personal with it, you know, get to know it a little better before I digest.

P.S. I was overwhelmingly late on this post so this is technically Top Ten Monday. It won't happen again..I hope.

Quick, 45-second long life wasters

I know your going to try and read this in 45 seconds because you're funny like that, but the life wasters I'm talking about aren't these posts.
Here's our toopic: I know hate is a strong word, but it's a child of a word when I'm trying to express my distaste for these damn low-budget commercials. Everytime I watch commercials, especially on ESPN, I feel like I'm playing Russian Roulette. Allow me to explain. You've seen them:
BlueHippo desktop computers
LifeAlert
The Wilfred Brimley Diabetes Spiels
Basically any Non-Profit get out of debt/make the bill collectors stop calling ones
You get the picture.
Every time one of these come on it's like a bird pooped on my windsheild. Only it's not a bird-sized poop, it's human sized and it means business. Do you appreciate the visual? Because it's necessary.
They use the same template designed in 1957 by Helen Keller. Rosie O'Donnell thinks those commercials are ugly. I'd rather watch channel 0 while knifing my corneas & listening to My Chemical Romance backwards than listen to that Douche talk about credit scores again.
If you want to convince me you can get me out of debt stop making commercials like your in debt yourself. It's damn near 2007. Buy a new computer and stop trying to make commercials on Windows 1876 or go to hell and make Hitler watch your commercials, because the only thing they're good for is painful, soul-killing torture. Cheers.