Top 10 Tuesday

No I'm not an idiot. I know it isn't Tuesday. Before I go any further, I want to know why the (explicative) spell check stopped me in my tracks when I typed the word "isn't". There is goes again. WTF. When I was growing up, ain't ain't a word so you ain't supposed to use it 'cause it ain't in the dictionary. But now apparently "isn't" IS NOT a word. Spell check is about as reliable as Wikipedia in the 1700's. Make of that what you wish.
Back to the countdown. This version of Top Ten Tuesday is extremely late. In fact, I planned on having one every week. But it turned out that I stopped after the first one which I think I posted on a Thursday.
I actually don't even know what my topic is going to be. What do you think? Colors? No, I hate you now for coming up with that lame topic. How about "Things that Suck"? The only reason I thought about this was because of that lame topic of "Top Ten Colors". And that topic sucks.

Things that Suck.
10. Technology.
- Weren't we supposed to be in flying cars right now? George Jetson is a liar.

9. Vacuums.
- Of course I'm going to put this right? I don't even care about how they literally suck. I just hate how damn loud they are. I also hate vacuuming.

8. Driving.
- Can't we all just teleport. Driving is such a waste of time. NASCAR also falls into this topic.

7. People on Cash Cab
- Some people are just idiots. And weird.

6. Tyler Perry's House of Payne.
- Oh my God. I don't even-- This should actually be #1 but it is so incredibly horrible that I might put it twice. Stay tuned.

5. Deciding to make it Top 10 Tuesday instead of Top 5 Tuesday.
- I'm just really lazy. But I'll do it for the three people who actually read this.

4. The writer's strike ending.
- Even though it brought back my favorite shows, Conan was so much funnier while the strike was on.

3. Sleeping with Socks.
-This is just a terrible, terrible feeling. It's like wearing a beanie in the summer.

2. Bob Saget on American Funniest Home Videos.
- His impressions are indescribable. He apparently knows what animals would sound like if they could talk.

1. The Holocaust.
- I'm not trying to be cheeky, but this really did suck.

Back for at least a couple more posts depending on your reaction

Some things might not make sense as this was originally composed for facebook and I'm too lazy to go through and change it, not that it would be interesting to you if you don't personally already know me anyway.

I'm starting this note without any purpose or sense of direction. In fact, the only reason I am writing this is because I haven't done one (that wasn't advertising a radio show) before. I also don't have class until 1:30 tomorrow.
With this in mind, you might want to stop reading and use your time elsewhere. I might not come up with anything of any interest. Though I suppose I won't post this if I didn't. So now your relying on my judgment on whether or not this will entertain you.
Right, so I have about 4 weeks left in Grantham if all goes according to plan. I'm glad to get out. It's not that I don't like some of the people in Grantham. It's that I hate some of the people in Grantham. I can't tolerate many of the people I see here.
These feelings are generally reserved for when I'm driving or listening to pop music. Why the hatred? Multiple reasons, but all can be summed up by counting drops of piss on the toilet seats on third floor Grantham. The seats look like Honeycombs. And walking past people in the halls I can just tell which ones care and which ones piss on seats. I thought I left these people back in high school, or I at least hoped they would join a fraternity.
These are the people who dribble a basketball for 15 minutes at a time in a dorm room. At 10 a.m. on a Saturday. I'm taking 4 different psych classes next semester just to try and figure out what brain processes are behind that bizarre action. Dribbling a basketball in a dorm room is not fun. This is not debatable. Questioning this fact is madness. It can't be fun. It just CAN'T. Because if it is, everything I thought I knew about life is lost in a horrible whirlwind of something really bad yet undiscovered.
It also won't make you better at basketball. I know this from personal experience. I dribbled many a basketball while sitting on folding chairs while riding the bench. I can say rather confidently that the coach never looked down the bench to see me sitting down on a chair dribbling under my legs and thought "Jesus look how fast it goes from his left hand to his right, get him in the game."
Most people suck at basketball, but they play it anyway. They say it's to stay in shape, but everyone who's ever played thinks they are better than they are. But say they do play it to stay in shape. For most people this is fine. It's therapeutic. A release. It's exercise, and it's good for you. I need to exercise. It keeps them from being able to tell us what a heart attack feels like. But what is the use of staying alive longer if you are the type of person who routinely pisses on toilet seats, so much so that 3 days removed from the most recent cleaning (on Friday) I can't sit down and lay brown eggs. These people add NOTHING to society, except drunk-driving and date-rape. And AIDS. Because you know whoever had sex with that monkey is one of these people.
Other than that it was a good weekend.

I Hate Your State Too

I hail from North Dakota (ND), and I happen to be proud of it. The vast, wide-open prairie, the overwhelming abundance of cattle, and over 6 bazillion combines and balers make ND a great state. OK, maybe not. But I would like to make this a formal complaint to all of the people who think ND is a poor, electricity-less dust bowl. It’s not. Sure, there may not be as much going on here as there is in Florida or California, but good God, we don’t live in friggin tee pees. As much respect as I have for those that did live in tee pees and earth lodges, times have changed and so has our housing. Electricity did make it to ND, believe it or not, and yes, we do have running water. Here is just an example of what people think when they hear or see the words “North Dakota”:

I was on holiday in Florida and my family and I went to Burger King in Tampa. Not wanting to lose cash, we took along traveler’s checks. As we were paying the young lady for our meal, we handed her the ND traveler’s check. She looked at it for a while, then gazed up at our patient faces and said, “Is this what your money looks like there?”

If there was one person in the world that day that I wanted to throw my meal at, it was her. Her manager later excused her absolute stupidity and said she doesn’t get out much. Ya think?

I'll be completely honest, I wouldn't want to visit ND to see the sights, but please don't hate on us just because you would rather be in the mountains instead of the prairie. One great attraction North Dakota does have is an amazing golf course in historic Medora called Bully Pulpit. It is set in the beautiful Badlands and draws golfing enthusiasts from far and wide.

If you are in the area, or just feeling spontaneous stop by North Dakota. I dare you. You might like it. Whatever you do, don't make fun of us anymore, please.